Family Traditions

Early Winter mornings find all seven of us crammed snug in Mum and Dad's water-bed. Eyes half open, we read from the scriptures, my younger brothers repeat word for word when their turn comes.

Every now and then, on unsuspecting Friday nights, Dad comes home from work and tells us it's time for a 'mystery adventure'. We pack our bags and run to the car. Hours later, we arrive at a cabin, I can hear the swell and smell salt. When morning breaks, I look across the bay towards convict ruins and endless sand dunes.

Once again, I pull a smelly life jacket over my head and climb aboard the homemade raft with my sisters. We shriek and splash in April's chilly river water. The ward raft race is never missed, we sink before we make the finish line (again).

It's the first day of the school holidays and I open little boxes of cereal, rice bubbles and fruit loops. Mum always marks the arrival of the holidays with little boxes for all of us, and we pour the milk in and eat right out of the packet.

He places his hands on my head. Tomorrow I start a new school year and his Father's blessing reassures me of my Heavenly Father's love and calms my worries.

I love family traditions! Sometimes they are hard to pinpoint, elusive to define, but I like to think of them as the memory moments in a family's history. They are integral for children to feel a sense of belonging, they tie siblings together, help make a family identity and have the power to influence generations. Often we underestimate the importance of traditions, or we don't even notice them because they have always been there. Family traditions give rhythm and pace, they force us to slow down and make time for what really matters in too-hurried days.

In my faith, religious traditions give spiritual depth and a sense of sociality to my family. We participate in many religious activities together such as Sabbath observance and temple attendance. There are distinct rites of passage such as baby blessings and baptismal days which are both anticipated and celebrated. Within our church community there are the rhythmical traditions of camps and sporting events, of firesides and conferences. Within our four walls, we read scripture together, pray together and learn together, and Monday night is our special night for teaching one another and having fun. All of these events are important to us and give structure and meaning to the pace of our family life. You probably have many similar traditions like these you aren't even aware of, but they are there, and each simple one builds upon the other, so our children can feel security and sureness in these spiritual and social habits.

A little while ago, with two very young children, I was feeling sad that it was difficult for me to carry on the traditions of my childhood. There was no river five minutes from home to camp at Easter time, and city life was not the same as the country traditions I was used to. I've realised I don't have to replicate my own childhood, but I can carry-on some traditions well (such as mystery adventures which I love to plan) and add new ones as we go along to form a new family identity just for us. Since then some traditions have been consciously formed (like our resolve to never miss a family teaching opportunity on Monday nights) and others have happened spontaneously (like our one metre party!) and then it continues on and on.  As a tradition is repeated, it strengthens the ties which bind us together and makes memory prints which last.

Some family traditions, bought, borrowed and loved:

All the wonderful little things we do at Easter (putting a carrot out for the Easter Bunny, an Easter display table) and Christmas (reading the Christmas story, opening presents one at a time sitting in a circle), Valentine's Day (and annual love poem) and New Years.

Birthday celebrations - never miss an opportunity to make someone feel special  (fun birthday bunting which goes up for the whole week, choosing their own cake and birthday food, a love letter for the birthday child)

Traditions linked with food! (Potato cakes on Sunday nights, Mr Spud, lolly cakes, the list is endless and most families have many known and loved by lots of extended family members). A love for a particular type of food which is shared as a family - we love Korean food because of Win's missionary experiences and the children will happily eat

Repeating a scripture together after family prayer. Within a week, even the two-year old knows it off by heart and it's time for a new one

Eating meals together - so important it is hardly noticed

1 Metre Party (happens sometime in the third year of life, with a one metre long row of cupcakes, a special glittered crown and much fanfare)

Sharing news (at the dinner table, then we raise our hands to ask questions)

Lighting fires (this happens often and everyone loves having a fire to sit around with marshmallows)

Musical traditions - singing around the piano, listening to certain music on Sunday mornings nice and loud to wake everyone up for church, writing songs together

Playing games (at our family reunions we play mafia every night)

Making movies (I loved this as a kid and now my children have started writing their own scripts - the most recent was 'guinea pig robot' and it was crazy! They had a ball!)

Holiday traditions - revisiting the same place (eg. the Big Pineapple for icecream), visiting grandparents and great grandparents.

 Re telling stories you heard as a child - made up adventures or true ancestor stories

Every family tradition, simple or elaborate,  is important and gives both richness and vibrancy to the tapestry of family life. Sometimes, a looked-forward-to birthday celebration can be the glimmer on the horizon to get a child through a hard school week. Or the memory of a Sunday night family sing-song will be a reminder which sparks a heart-tug for home for a wayward teenager. Or just knowing they will meet up with their cousins for a family reunion at a loved holiday spot, what lucky children.  Fun and warm family traditions (many are centred around food!) put the life into living, and make the monotonous worth it.

 They have the power to fortify us with spiritual strength, light up the eyes of our children, initiate real talking and listening time, secure sibling-love, and make moments of magic in our memory banks.