Hi, this is dad!  What you are about to read is most likely going to be like hearing someone talk about the fantastic meal they just ate. It is never quite the same and you just don't quite enjoy it the same way they did! But I have had the benefit of being married to one of the great Mum's of the world for 30 years and some of it better have rubbed off! I might also say that I grew up with one of the worlds great Mum's who, to her five chldren was Mother, Father, Full TIme Worker, Disciplinarian, Coach and Friend! So understanding intimately well that the family structures we may currently be in are not all the same, the principals I am going to mention remain valid and are capable of being adapted to what our families are.  

Many years ago I was sitting in a meeting where the person speaking said, "One of the most important things you can do for your children is to let them know that you love their mother."  I remember thinking that there were probably lots of more important things I could do for my children. Like, a home, food, a good education, sport, etc etc.  I have since that time come to realise that although those things are necessary and even important and as such demand a high degree of our time and energy as fathers, they are not the main game. A family can be looked at as anything from a lifelong association to an eternal unit. We approach ours as a family that literally has the potential to be, forever. With this in mind then if your goal as a husband and wife is to remain together as a family, it is obviously important that that relationship in the family be a very strong one. Hence, one of the most important things I can do for my children is to let them know that I love their mother! I would add to that, respect her, be loyal and faithful. All traits that should exist amongst family members.

So comes another of those things I once heard and didn't immediately understand or agree with, "Your first responsibility is to your wife and then to your children." My reasoning was that my  children were small, defenceless, in need of care and attention and training and my wife was big enough and smart enough to look after herself.  But as is often the case, my line of reasoning took a more practical and immediate view of the situation and failed in the long term department!  A Husband and a Wife are the very foundation of a family unit.  And like most things in life, if you try to build on a shaky foundation, you are in for trouble. Maybe you will get by today, or for a week or a month or perhaps even for years but sooner or later it is going to crack and things are going to fall.  So, it is necessary, no vital that the proper attention is given to make your relationship with your wife not just strong but continually strengthening, developing and growing. It too has an eternal nature and we should never be satisfied that it is "okay". Okay is not good enough nor is it even a worthy challenge. I doubt that we would find any of our sporting favourites or those we look up to in the business world as ones who settle for "Oh, it's okay!"

So, back to the real points of what I am trying to say. Yes, one of the best things I can do for my children is to let them see and know that I love their mother and that she is valuable to me beyond reasoning. I love the opportunity to say in my "stern" voice, "Don't you talk to my wife like that!" Our relationship and the way we and our wives treat each other set the standards for relationships and actions in our homes. And the second, my first focus has to be on ensuring that my relationship with my wife is sound and that we are progressing and making it better all the time.

I have often thought back to the day we were married. At that time I thought that I loved her about as much as could ever be. Now as I look back and see how our relationship has grown and continues to grow, in the words of one of her favourite singers I realise that it then, was only puppy love! (I never thought I would say that!!)

So dads, you will always find the time to do what needs to be done and to care for your families needs but always make the time to care for the most important aspect of your families ongoing existence, your wife, their mother and your relationship with her!

Dad